A Tragedy That Should Never Have Happened

If only we treated mental health as seriously as physical illness.

On June 6th, a Nepali family —a mother, father, and their two young children—was found dead from gunshot wounds in their home in Virginia. Authorities believe this was a case of murder-suicide, though the investigation remains ongoing.

Just days earlier, the 36-year-old mother had confided in her sister in Nepal about her deepening depression, the isolation she felt, the strain in her marriage, and the family’s financial stress. Her husband, working long hours as an Uber driver, was no stranger to hardship either. At some point, he had acquired a gun—an uncommon step within the Nepali community.

While the facts are still emerging, what’s clear is that this family was under enormous mental stress. Our hearts break for them—and especially for their two children, whose lives were tragically cut short.

The Data We Can No Longer Ignore

Tragically, this isn’t an isolated case. Research shows South Asians “exhibit a higher susceptibility to various mental disorders, particularly depression and anxiety, than their non-immigrant counterparts”.

A 2021 survey by South Asian SOAR found that 48% of South Asian respondents had experienced physical violence, and 38% reported emotional abuse. Among South Asian women, the rate of intimate partner violence is estimated at 40%–48%, significantly higher than the national average.
Another study discusses how migration may interact with social factors, such as unemployment or poverty, to produce stress levels that deteriorate mental health.

Why the Silence?

Many South Asians in the U.S. live under immense pressure—to succeed, to sacrifice, to justify the choice to leave home. This pressure often leads to chronic stress, and in some cases, deep isolation.

Immigrant families frequently walk a tightrope between cultural traditions and American life. Children and parents may experience this tension in different ways, leading to misunderstanding and emotional distance.

Yet for all this strain, mental illness is still widely stigmatized. A South Asian psychiatrist states, “Mental illness is taboo in many South Asian communities… religious and cultural influences often do not consider mental health a medical issue, referring to it as shameful and even a ‘superstitious belief.’” Therefore, it is rarely acknowledged by the afflicted person and the family or referred to a primary care doctor rather than a mental health specialist..

In many South Asian cultures, mental health isn’t viewed as a medical concern—but rather as a sign of weakness, spiritual failure, or shame. Some South Asian languages don’t even have words to accurately describe mental health conditions, making diagnosis and treatment even harder to access or explain.

The Hidden Costs of Denial

When mental health is ignored, the consequences are not just emotional—they are physical, relational, and sometimes fatal. Chronic stress has been linked to heart disease, hypertension, and diabetes. For some, the pain becomes unbearable, leading to thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

One study of suicide among South Asian Americans, “Suicide among South Asian Americans,” found that over 70% of those who died lived with family or friends, but only one-third had ever accessed mental health care.

We must ask: how many tragedies must occur before we take mental health seriously?

Particularly Vulnerable: Survivors of Abuse

For survivors of interpersonal violence (IPV), mental trauma is often deep and long-lasting. Even after leaving abusive relationships, many continue to struggle with depression, PTSD, or suicidal ideation. In the South Asian community, where IPV affects nearly 1 in 2 women, this is a crisis we cannot afford to ignore.

Ashiyanaa Is Here to Help

Ashiyanaa provides case management and the necessary referrals to trauma-informed counseling and psychiatric care, and support through our culturally sensitive Women’s Support Group.

Ashiyanaa understands the unique barriers that South Asians face when asking for help and they offer support with kindness, confidentiality, and no judgment.